Vampires = Fags

Was there really any doubt?

The fabulous shirts.

The makeup.

And, the knickerbockers.















The occasional going down on each other at rapid, supernatural rates of speed.












Now zombies? They're fully straight. They are a man's man when they scoop out your skull, quaff it down and then burp like it was a Pabst Blue empty.

No faggot shit here.

















And no fashion sense either even if they are a little bit retarded or 'slow'. They wear moth eaten Ocean Pacific shirts from 1984 and those high crotch-grabber shorts from the 70's that Magic Johnson wore. Its like a giant army that just cleared off the chrome plated racks of a Goodwill.

















You could see them shopping at Wal Mart for sure.

They are blue collar and they probably watch football and jack off into fireplaces and kitchen sinks.

Ghosts?

I will not get into that. I will save it for later, but the short answer is that there's really no such thing as a ghost.

Ghosts are farts that we mistake for dead people. You can't see them, only smell them and when we do we remember our loved ones.